Wednesday, March 25, 2009

You know you live in a privileged society when...

you get a massage for the inside of your mouth one day and get a personal assistant hired by your office to deliver beer, ice cream sandwiches and kielbasa sausages to your boyfriend for his birthday the next.

Random disorganized updates:
I'm in love with a donkey named Maybe.


And she loves me. (And I didn't even bribe her with food!)


Head still hurts. $25 per pill painkillers work but I've only used one so far. Due to teeth grinding, my head hurts the most after I sleep longer. Which sucks for obvious reasons.

Participating in the University of Ottawa's Relay for Life on Friday! I have no idea how I'm going to be able to do 7pm Friday to 7am Saturday after a week of work, but hopefully I can work it out. I think it'll be a fun time. Doing it with my friends!

Have a general idea for my thesis that Prof Bunce, the thesis supervisor, thinks will work. It's going to revolve around Fair Trade promotion and provision at universities. I'm hoping to have a proposal out the door (well, out the outbox?) in a couple of weeks.

My resume is going over desks around the city. There are some promising things going on. Fingers crossed!

I'm now on Twitter. @angelafcruz. Terrible idea. I love it.

That's all for now! Dishes and bed. G'night.

Happy birthday baybah!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Downtown Otown: Settled In

Hi all!

I have been crazy behind in updating. I kept making excuses but now that I'm finally back on my laptop for the first time since August, I feel the urge to update everyone on the goings on in my life again! Yes, that's right, my baby is back home with me! It was a rough couple of first starts but after a couple of tries in Canadian room temperature, she was pretty much back to normal (minus a number of flaws that I'm deeming superficial...like the mouse not working). Phewf. Just in case, I've put aside enough money for another laptop should she konk out on me. Fingers crossed!

At the end of December, Jeffrey and I moved into a fantastic apartment downtown, near the University of Ottawa. I'm working as an administrative assistant full-time until the end of tax season at KPMG, which is about a 20 minute [speed]walk from our place. I am failing at posting pictures on Facebook mostly due to the fact that my camera did not survive the trip from Guatemala to Canada. I bought a pretty mocha (Christine and Jeffrey say it's purple) Canon Powershot SD1100 IS. So far so good. I promise I will post pictures of the house soon!

Let's get to the main show: my headache. Turns out, many tests (including an MRI that was done in Kingston. Thanks for the drive, Dad!) later, it's likely a migraine from hell. My headache has not stopped since August. Day and night, my head hurts. It randomly flared up so badly I could not work at all and stayed in bed from Feb 12-16 (my Family Day holiday was a huge waste). On the Wednesday, I went to acupuncture (my fourth treatment). Qing (acupunctureottawa.ca) put a needle just behind my right temple and my brutal pain almost completely disappeared! It was incredible. One week later, I'm still feeling good with almost no pain at all. It's the best I've felt since August!

Anyway, I'm not being particularly interesting or amusing in this entry, so I'm going to cut it short and do some chores before bed. I'll update again soon when I'm feeling more entertaining ;)

Friday, December 5, 2008

Lots of updates

Okay, folks. This was a long time coming. Apologies all around. I'll pull a CNN.com for those of you busy people and everyone who has a short attention span:

Story Highlights:
-Officially an "early return for medical reasons", i.e. my post was terminated in Guatemala.
-Currently getting massages for tension in my head, shoulders and neck that cause a lot of pain but, I think, are working.
-Was taking painkillers for 3 weeks but have stopped yesterday due to side effects.
-Still have constant headaches but they are less severe. More dizzy, having trouble speaking clearly, and had a weird episode of mixing up words. I'm hoping those were just due to the painkillers.

Alrighty, so on Nov 18, I got an email from CUSO that my post was going to be terminated because after 3 months of medical leave, your contract ends. We considered just postponing my return, but when we found out my next neurologist appointment is Feb 17, it was decided that was too late. Cecilia originally proposed a January return date, which obviously cannot happen.

All of my things, essentially, are still there. Carola is incredible and has packed up my stuff to ship back here next week. Hopefully the bank is able to transfer my funds to my account in Canada.

I'm currently volunteering at the Red Cross. I went in the last two Wednesdays to do research for different projects. It's hard with the massages to try to schedule things during the week since the day after my massages tend to be pretty terrible in terms of pain in my head and shoulders.

I've been getting massages twice a week. We're going to try reducing that to once a week. They're painful during and after. Last Thursday, my massage was very intense and I spent the next 4 days in a lot of pain. However, my headaches have lessened and I think the massages are responsible for that. I've managed to find time to work out most days, so I'm feeling healthier because of that, as well.

I got an apartment downtown. I'll be moving on January 1. Very excited. I'll be playing intramural volleyball at the University of Ottawa, right by my new place, which should be lots of fun!

I have no concrete updates on work or anything. I'm hoping to get a job with a development organization in Ottawa once I'm feeling better. I have no clue when that will be. Right now, I'm just booking a few short modeling shoots to get some extra cash while I wait for my Guatemala money!

In random personal news, I've been knitting up a storm. I have a lot of projects on the go. I ordered in beautiful needles for my birthday (thanks Lolo and Lola!). I'm also making [tomato, celery, carrot, meat, food colouring-free] soups and [wheat-free] breads. Now that it's freezing outside, I'm craving Guatemalan food less, which is helping my quest to eat more local food. And I get to take Mom's breadmaker with me to the new apartment. Score!

Jessica and I went to the rally for a coalition government yesterday, which was wonderful. It's a wild time in Canadian politics. Never thought I'd say that. Here are some of my favourite quotations from non-Canadians that were published in the Globe and Mail today:

"Only in Canada could they replace the least charismatic Prime Minister in their history with the least charismatic man in the universe. A coup in which whatsisface overthrows whatsisname."
- Babel69, Guardian.co.uk

"I'm loving this! This is the best news since our own election ... Go, Canada! Go, Canuckians! Holy Jumping Poutine!"
- mattman, DailyKos.com

"If this parliament was a dog it would be brought out behind the shed and shot. Rabid dogs aren't reformed, given second chances or trusted ever again."
- Rick Mercer, Rickmercer.com

The winner in my eyes (of course):
"It seems that Canadians are experiencing what we Americans experienced under 8 years of Bush. We are extremely relieved that there is now a change of guard. Keep knitting, it alleviates the stress."
- Monique, yarnharlot.com

Friday, November 14, 2008

21 years on this earth and counting

Well, I can't say I ever expected to be at my parent's house with a raging headache for my 21st birthday. At midnight, I was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep through the pain of this stupid headache that has plagued me for nearly 3 whole months. While lying in bed this morning, awake since about 9:30am but lying in bed because of the pain, test messages flowed in, mostly from Toronto. Jeffrey finally got me to get out of bed after noon, after getting Brendan (who has a PD day from school today) to give me the phone.

I was surprised by a super phone call via Skype from Tiana! It's so cool to talk to someone live who is in Burkina Faso. The quality wasn't great, but it was cool to hear her little sick voice nonetheless. (Everyone spare some of your "healthy thoughts" for T so she can be nice and healthy to hang out with some other Canadians this weekend!)

My evil formerly-twin cousin Shawna (for some reason we look less like each other and more like our mothers every year) bought me "This is Spinal Tap". She thinks she's funny. I laughed, anyway. So every time I look at the cover, I can remember the worst 5 minutes or so of my life!

Last night, Dad, Mom, Bren, Jeffrey and I went to Mongolian (my favourite restaurant) and then to watch Madagascar 2. It wasn't as great as Madagascar 1; however, the first was about animals that escape the cushy NYC Central Park zoo to end up in the wilderness, so it was much more relevant to my life at the time! (I watched it with the kiddies in Guatey.) Tonight, I'll be watching Bren's hockey game all the way out in Orleans with the same crew. Obviously I wore earplugs to the movie and will do the same for the hockey game! Best invention ever. Earplugs have gotten me through living in residence, getting through Greyhound rides back and forth between Ottawa and Toronto, sleeping in the rainforest and surviving this stupid headache!

Anyway, onto the health stuff that people ask about. I saw a neurologist bright and early on Thursday morning. Mom and I were extremely early for once and nothing was open, so I knitted while sweating buckets in the waiting room. Our house is freezing cold so I'm really warm when I'm anywhere else (except maybe outside...stupid Ottawa!). If I do end up going back to Guatemala, I'm going to MELT. Okay, back on track. So she was awesome, asking me tons of questions and doing a lot of reflex and mobility-type tests. It was lovely to be with a doctor who took her time and was generally very nice. I think it's also a great sign that she took out her little supplies from an extremely well-loved little leather case. Makes her seem really experienced, haha.

Diagnosis? Well, she's going to get some radiologists to check out my MRI. She kept my MRI and CT scans and photocopied the results of tests and the list of drugs I was on in Guatemala. If anything interesting pops up, I'll get a call. In the meantime, her current theory is a tension problem in the right back of my neck. Most of the pain is concentrated in the back right part of my head. When she put pressure on my neck with her hands, I could feel the pressure much more on my right side than the left side. I thought she was just pushing harder there.

The current treatment plan is new drugs (Mom has the name...) for my pain and prescribed massages for my neck.

Mom thinks our trip to Belize might have done it. It's probably the first time in my whole life where I was really relaxed. My theory is, after getting totally relaxed for the first time, we experienced this:





We're both mostly kidding, especially since we don't know if she's actually right.

So now I wait 6 weeks to see her again. In the meantime, I'm supposed to take these pain pills daily, bumping up my dose once a week if they aren't working. This means Christmas is going to be spent in Canada, which is definitely not what I expected. The best laid plans 'eh.

No update on what is happening with my work/co-op situation at the moment. I promise I'll post on here if anything comes up on that front.

Carola is the best and put a bunch of stuff in my bedroom that was in the dining room area (i.e. the area with 3 walls) and saved it from almost certain destruction from wind, rain and rats. Yay! Let's hope my journal survived. I think it'll be great to read back on everything that happened. My goal for my 21st year is to start writing something, anything, in a daily journal. Maybe it'll keep me from rambling so much in my blog!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Still stuck in limbo

Well, more tests came back negative and the hospital lost some stool samples. I went to the travel doctor again last week and he made a referral for me to see a neurologist. The appointment hasn't been made yet. I'm really hoping she can squeeze me in soon! According to my travel doctor, the causes are most likely my malaria pills, a virus or a neurological problem, in that order.

It's pretty frustrating at this point because I don't know what's going to happen with my year, my placement and my thesis. I haven't been at work for nearly two months now. Aye aye aye.

It's been nice spending time with the family, Jeffrey and friends. Unfortunately, most of my friends are in Toronto or on other continents. I still have my Toronto cell, however, so texting has been pretty sweet. 416-280-1842 -I'm textable! Unless you're Francis or Tiana. Boo.

I'm still knitting up a storm. I actually managed to knit a toque and 1 1/2 mittens. Almost a pair!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

links to check out

Nothing new to report. I'm just waiting on some more results to see if it's some parasite thing. We shall see. Bored as heck sitting around at home all day, knitting and watching TV with the volume down. It's annoying because the only going out that I do is to doctor's offices and occasionally grocery stores/pharmacies. It's too loud basically everywhere. I watched an intramural volleyball game at UofOttawa (Jeffrey and Jessica's team) and my head was really killing me afterwards. So I'm stuck in the house, doing a whole lot of nothing.

Last weekend, Jeffrey and I drove up to the cottage and hung out with Grandmaman and Poppa for an afternoon and dinner, which was really nice. Hopefully I have time to go up and visit again before I go back (?) to Guatemala. Unfortunately, after dinner, I was pretty sick so we had to speed to the depan

Update email from Carola informed me that my little puppy has gone missing. Audelio likely has Coquette, someone told her this week, which is a relief. He's a sweetheart so hopefully she'll be nice and healthy when (?) I return. And hopefully he'll be so attached he'll want to be her new dueño (owner) when (?) I leave.

Anyway, just a few things that I thought were cool to share with you all:

Google making an official statement against Proposition 8 to constitutionally ban gay marriage in California: http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/our-position-on-californias-no-on-8.html

Palinisms: the Sarah Palin Random Quote Generator (don't forget, the VP debates are Thursday at 9pm EST!) -Facebook blocked me from posting this or putting it in my status.
http://palinquotes.awardspace.com/

my Tita Gina's travel blog about her trip to Italy! Warning: it made me very hungry
http://ginahall.blogspot.com/

It's a neat time to be in Canada, getting to watch all of the election coverage on both sides of the border. Makes it less boring than it would be, anyway.

Hope everyone else is doing well and having fun wherever you are. If anyone would like a scarf, let me know :)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

back in Otown

Continuation…

So that Wednesday, I went back to the doctor who told me that it most definitely was dengue and I just needed to wait a couple of days and then it would go away. Thursday, I was still feeling the same, headachy and tired. After dinner, all of a sudden, the world started to look different. I got this dizzy feeling like things were moving slower than my eyes were moving. Freaking out, I called Carola and Katie. Carola called around to get me a car and we were off to the Hospital Privado in Santa Elena, the best private hospital in the area.

Well, they checked all my vitals and I was looking normal except for the dizziness and headache. Scared to go back to the Cooperative, 40 minutes away from the hospital, they admitted me to stay overnight. After talking to CUSO, we determined that I would take the first plane of the day on the Friday to Guatemala City to seek treatment there. Carola went back to the Coop to pack some of our stuff to take with us to Guatey.

So they hook me up to an IV, wheel me to a room and plop me into bed. When they hooked me up to the IV, the nurse said “now, take a deep breath”. By the time I translated that in my head, the needle was already in. But one of the students who was observing had taking a gulping breath watching the whole thing happen and it took a lot for me to not laugh outloud. Twice during the night, my IV started leaking fluid and blood. To get their attention, I had to wheel myself (remembering I’m really dizzy) down 2-3 hallways. I had an argument about insurance with their secretary when she came in at like 3 in the morning to discuss it. The bathroom had a dripping shower and reeked of mould. The dripping kept me up basically all night. There wasn’t any soap in the bathroom. The AC was broken so it was either full blast or off.

In the morning, after ripping me off totally for the room ($300 for the night), they started arguing that I should pay in cash. Um, I don’t carry $300 worth of Quetzales around with me! The insurance told us they’d call them but after waiting over 40 minutes for a Spanish speaking person at the insurance company to call, I was going to miss my flight. They refused to take the IV out of my hand until 8am when my plane (which I didn’t have a ticket for) was scheduled to take off at 8:30. Fortunately, around 7:45am, the IV started leaking on its own so they really didn’t have much of a choice but to take it out anyway. I stormed out of the hospital as soon as I could while Carola waited what felt like an eternity for a doctor to show up to sign the forms. If I had a medical emergency, there wasn’t a doctor around to deal with it anyway!

He took forever, filling out this long explanation of everything they’d done…in Spanish on the insurance form that says “Must be completed in ENGLISH or FRENCH”. Which is stupid on the part of CUSO for having insurance that can’t be done in Spanish. The nurses had told me at the night that the doctor spoke English. By “speak English”, they meant he could say “Good morning”. Literally. Way to get my hopes up.

Anyway, Carola and I managed to just catch the flight. Despite attitude from the airline (the guy looks at his watch, squints at us, “hm, this is pretty late”. They hadn’t boarded yet and it’s a tiny airport where most people show up like 20 minutes before the plane leaves anyway) and difficulties paying by credit card (What? You don’t have $200 in cash?), we got on the flight. We were met by Dina, an awesome Guatemalan CUSO cooperant, at the airport.

Dina was invaluable throughout my experience in Guatemala City. It’s so confusing and figuring out things like cabs, which have a fixed price in Santa Elena, and where to eat would have been another stress on top of being sick. Dina rocks and I plan on visiting her again in Guatemala. Also, she’s very demanding and speaks her mind, which was EXTREMELY useful in the hospital.

I went to Centro Medico to get checked out. Right away, they did a tomography and some blood tests. We had a lot of problems with insurance (hospital’s fault) which meant I was in Emergency for over 9 hours. Not so bad for me, except I had to pee every 10 minutes because of the IV and I had to unhook my IV and walk across Emergency every single time. But poor Dina and Carola had to stand! There were no chairs except one really uncomfortable stool that they rotated. And, trust me, we asked. Some of the nurses were kind enough to get me dinner even though my insurance wasn’t figured out yet.

In the end, CUSO ended up Western Union-ing over thousands of dollars to put up as a guarantee at the hospital because they wouldn’t accept our insurance company. (Props to Tina from MEDEX for trying like crazy, though!) Without CUSO’s help, I would have had to try to pool all of my cash and credit cards to cover it, which barely would have done it. I already spent $600 of my own money on treatment and plane tickets (which will be reimbursed) and the $3000 guarantee needed by the hospital would have cleaned me out. (In the end, my treatment ended up costing MORE than that!)

The hospital was very nice. Great facilities, most of the nurses were great. The doctors frustrated me immensely. My main doctor lied to my face about what was wrong with me, I think to get me to stay in the hospital so he could keep making money off me. He told me that I had a cerebral edema and needed to stay in the hospital for treatment. Well, I now have a copy of that test which is totally normal, including a statement by the radiologists who say my brain is totally normal looking. He also told the insurance over the phone that he had done all of the tests he could do, when I had just gotten a second opinion from another neurologist who listed a number of tests that hadn’t been done and asked me why they hadn’t been done. And after that doctor told the insurance he’d done all the tests he could do, (within MINUTES) he ordered a battery of other tests. Uh…okay.

On the 7th or 8th, my headaches were really painful and none of the medication they were giving me was working. So to relieve pressure in my head and check for other evil things in my body, they did a spinal tap. HELL. Imagine having a needle in your spine and then having a doctor calling out instructions to you in Spanish when you’re only at a conversational level. It was awful. I was bawling and they finally got Carola back in the room to show me, on the floor, and describe in more simple words how he wanted me to move. MOVING WITH A NEEDLE IN MY SPINE. And because I was too tense (ya think?) they had a brutal time getting the needle out of my spine. It was a drill to get it out. The sound and feeling of a drill. Today, a week later, the most pain that I have is just recovering from that spinal tap. My headache did get better afterwards, but I think the brutal pain of my back just made the headache not seem so bad, haha. Nothing was abnormal in the spinal tap.

In the end, both of the doctors at the hospital determined that my headaches and dizziness were caused by depression. Their reasoning? I am a young woman who doesn’t live with her parents or husband and I eat a lot. Without telling me, they put me on a pill for manic depression. Fortunately, I got Mom to look it up (they never directly answered the question about what it was for, saying to take it before bed, implying it was a sleeping pill) so I didn’t take it on my own. Culturally, to them, they couldn’t understand how a young woman would actually want to go to a foreign country by herself. And the food thing is just weird –I’m an active person, so I eat a lot! Considering I’m on the lower end of average weight for my height, I don’t see how this is an argument at all. Plus, I’m very content with my life and one of the happiest people I know. Not so much on the depression.

After hearing that, the insurance company was adamant that I get back to Canada for testing and treatment. On Sept 9, I left the hospital and went to a hotel. I spent a day and a half bumming around with Carola. On Sept 11, with a nurse from Flying Nurses International (such a cool idea!), I came back to Ottawa. Kathy, a nurse from Philly, met me in the hotel the night before and we took off bright and early. She stayed with me to check my blood pressure and pulse a couple of times a flight and make sure I got a wheelchair to get me through the airports. Mostly, she kept me company. She would like to apologize on behalf of her country for George Bush. She said at least half a dozen times “I didn’t vote for him”. Haha. Cool lady.

On the 12th, saw Mom’s doctor. Did some tests which all came back normal.

Got very sick on Saturday and went to the hospital Sunday morning. Had some more tests done there. Results will be back today or tomorrow. I’m now feeling better, just with the headache and dizziness still.

It is almost certainly some sort of virus that, unless my conditions deteriorates to the point where they think I’m dying, will never be identified. I just have to wait it out. What this means for my placement, I have no idea. I want to go back to Guatemala, I intend on going back to Guatemala.

It’s been 3 weeks of this headache and it’s been incredibly frustrating. Glad to be home now with people to take care of me. A washing machine, big blankets and no bugs…ah. And a flush toilet! You knew I was going to bring that one up.

It’s very emotional being back. When we walked in the door from the airport, poor Jeffrey and Mom had to watch while I broke down. With only 2 days to mentally prepare to come back…I can’t describe it. And the reverse culture shock has been tough. I was in awe in the airports at how clean (and cold!) everything is.

Mostly this experience has made me very sad for the average person in the 3rd world. Who can afford what have now been many thousands of dollars for tests, hospital bills and travel expenses? We discovered that my positive dengue result from the lab in Santa Elena was wrong. So people are spending their Q100, which probably means less food on the table, to be tested in a dirty lab where their results are likely not even accurate! Also, a false positive could mean that something else is wrong with them, like malaria, that needs to be treated but they’ll go home just thinking they have dengue and will try to wait it out. A night in the hospital at $300…I don’t think I know anyone in Guatemala who has $300 lying around. I had people at the Cooperative to drive me to the hospital at 9pm. The microbuses that many people rely on stop at 6:30pm. You can’t just call a cab or even if you could, you likely couldn’t afford to have it drive you into town.

They do have a public health care system, which is known to be horrendous. The private health care I got in Santa Elena appalls me. I can’t even imagine what the public one is like. If you don’t have dengue, malaria, parasites or pregnancy, they have no idea what to do with you. At the cooperative, they have a trained “nurse” at the clinic who took my blood pressure incorrectly. All of these things are adding up to a population of people who can’t afford treatment or are getting the wrong treatment based on inaccurate diagnoses.

I am so grateful to be in Canada with our health care system and to have access to health insurance, both for travel and prescriptions.